CITY PEOPLE AWARDS

On Sunday 14th July 2013, the 2013 edition of the 2013 City People Entertainment Awards took place at the Haven Centre, GRA, IKeja, Lagos and was hosted by media personality Toke Makina. The ceremony which honoured celebrities for their art and charitable deeds saw Rita Dominic, Praiz, Yvonne Nelson, Femi Adebayo, Wizkid, Kcee and more take more awards. Below is the full list of winners.
Full List of Winners – 2013 City People Nigeria/Ghana Entertainment Awards
Musician of the Year (Male) – Wizkid
Musician of the Year (Female) – Waje
Most Popular Song of the Year – KCee – Limpopo
Best New Musician of the Year (Female) – Seyi Shay
Best New Musician of the Year (Male) – Sean Tizzle
Best Collabo of the Year – Flavour & KCee – Give it to Me
Best Music Producer of the Year – Sarz
Best Music Video Director of the Year – Moe Musa
Dancehall/Reggae Act of the Year – Oritsefemi
Best Hip Hop Artiste of the Year – Ice Prince
Best R&B Singer of the Year – Praiz
Best Record Label of the Year – Chocolate City
Best Rap Artiste of the Year – Olamide
Showbiz blog of the Year – Nigeriafilms.com
Music Marketer of the Year – Sarolaj
Entertainment-Friendly Brand of the Year – Amstel Malta
South-South Musician of the Year – Oba Omega
Most Promising Fuji Artiste of the Year – Kolade Onanuga
Most Promising Juju Artiste of the Year – Mega 9’9
Islamic Artiste of the Year – Obi Rere
Gospel Act of the Year – Bukky Akinlanu
Night Club of the Year – D Place by Papa
Radio/TV Awards
FM/Radio Station with Best Showbiz Content – Beat FM
TV Station with Best Showbiz Content – ON TV
Movies
Best Actress of the Year (English) – Mary Uranta
Best Actor of the Year (English) – Yul Edochie
Best Actor of the Year (Yoruba) – Femi Adebayo
Best Actress of the Year (Yoruba) - Mercy Aigbe
Nollywood Face of the Year – Rita Dominic
Best New Actor of the Year (Yoruba) – Damola Olatunji
Best New Actress of the Year (Yoruba) – Bukky Adekongbe
Best New Actor of the Year (English) – Rex Okunzuwa
Best New Actress of the Year (English) – Blessing Patrick
Best Supporting Actor of the Year (Yoruba) – Tayo Amokade (Baba Ijebu)
Best Supporting Actress of the Year (Yoruba) – Mide Funmi-Martins
Best Supporting Actor of the Year (English) – Brown Igboegbu
Best Supporting Actress of the Year (English) – Chacha Eke Faani
Best Movie of the Year (English) – Mr & Mrs (Chinwe Egwuagu)
Best Movie of the Year – Sonto Alapata (Femi Adebayo)
Best Movie Producer of the Year (English) – Simony
Best Movie Producer of the Year (Yoruba) – Muyiwa Ademola
Best Movie Marketer of the Year (English) – Pressing Forward
Best Movie Marketer of the Year (Yoruba) – Adekaz
Evergreen Yoruba Movie Marketer Award – Corporate Films
Best TV Series of the Year – Super Story
Director of the Year (English) – Moses Inwang
Director of the Year (Yoruba) – Muyideen Salihu
Comic Actor of the Year (Yoruba) – Sanyeri
Comic Actor of the Year (English) – Mr. Ibu
Most Promising Actress of the Year (Yoruba) – Bidemi Kosoko
Most Promising Actor of the Year (Yoruba) – Kayode Adebayo
Most Promising Actress of the Year (English) – Sugar Asoegwu
Most Promising Actor of the Year (English) – Igoni Archibong
Ghana Categories
Best Actor of the Year – John Dumelo
Best Actress of the Year – Jackie Appiah
Best Supporting Actor of the Year – Chris Attoh
Best Supporting Actress of the Year – Lydia Zynell Zuh
Hottest Ghanaian Actor in Nollywood of the Year – Prince David Osei
Hottest Ghanaian Actress in Nollywood of the Year – Yvonne Nelson
Best New Actress of the Year – Kafui Danku
Best Showbiz-Friendly Company of the Year – rlg
Face of Ghana Movies – Jackie Appiah
Best Showbiz Celebrity Foundation – Juliet Ibrahim Kidney Foundation
Best Movie of the Year – Single & Married
Musician of the Year (Male) – Guru
Musician of the Year (Female) – Kaakie
Best Group of the Year – R2Bees
Entertainment Company of the Year – Empire Entertainment
TV Station with the Best Showbiz – GH One
Radio Station with the Best Showbiz Content – Peace FM
Showbiz Blogger of the Year – Ameyawdebrah.com
Most Promising Actress of the Year – Helen Asante
Kannywood
Best Actor of the Year – Sani Musa Danja
Best Actress of the Year – Rahama Hassan
Best Supporting Actor of the Year – Zarhadeen Sani
Best Supporting Actress of the Year – Nafisa Abdullahi
Best New Actor of the Year – Yakubu Mohammed
Best New Actress of the Year – Halima Atete
Face of Kannywood – Ali Nuhu
Best Movie Director – Aminu Saira
Best Hausa Movie of the Year – Oga Abuja
Best Movie Producer of the Year – Sani Musa Danja http://lowridersfeast.blogspot.com

nigeria my country.

According to the Anti-corruption nonprofit Transparency International, TI,Nigeria ranks in the 10 most corrupt nations in the world. The agency released its 2013 Global Corruption Barometer, which surveyed residents in 107 countries, ranking Nigeria, Zambia, Paraguay, Mexico, Zimbabwe, Venezula and Russia as the largest countries on the globe with active corruption indices with Liberia and Mongolia leading the table.
In Nigeria, an astonishing 84% of those surveyed by Transparency International claimed that corruption has actually increased over the past 2 years, and that number is the highest of any country in the world. In addition 75% of those surveyed indicated that the government was ineffective in fighting corruption.
“A world-leading 86% of residents who spoke to Transparency International claimed their government had been either ineffective or very ineffective at fighting corruption, while 96% of residents claimed Liberia’s legislature was corrupt, also the highest percentage of any nation. A stunning 75% of residents surveyed claimed they had paid a bribe to secure some service, trailing only Sierra Leone.
“In all, 80% of the population had at one point been asked to pay a bribe. Recently, President Ellen Johnson Sirleaf fired the country’s auditor general for corruption.Many of those surveyed in the highly corrupt countries also felt their governments were not holding up their end of the bargain.”

LOOPYMUSIC

Some things are worth celebrating. Like Love, Life, Music
Come Friday July 19th 2013
Loopy Music, family and friends is bringing “THE PARTY” to Lagos Mainland with an event themed Green 36, holding at the Aquatic Hotel, No 31/37 Opebi Ikeja Lagos Nigeria, featuring: MI Abaga, Pryse, Loose Kaynon, EFA, Ruby, DJ Lambo, Ketchup, Grip Boiz, Kahli Abdu, Victoria Kimani, and a few surprise appearances
Tickets go for: Regular: N2,500 VIP: 10,000 Table: 150,000
Experience is: PRICELESS
Tickets are available at ticket shop and at The Palms (Lekki), Ozone Cinema (Yaba), Silverbird Galleria and Ikeja City Mall
For table bookings and enquiries, Call Temi on 08102484399. One lucky guest will win a free trip to the city of Dubai.
Date: 19/07/2013 Red Carpet Starts 7:00pm
Venue: Aquatic Hotel, No 31/37 Opebi Ikeja Lagos Nigeria.
This event is proudly supported by:
Loopy Music, Miabaga.com, Chocolate City, Beat FM 99.9, Top Radio 90.9 Jus Kiddin’ entertainment, PoshHillz Marvels Entertainment, I.A.N Entertainment, Rebel Republic, AceCarz, Greengo Travels and lowridersfeast.blogspot.com.

unity in family diversity.

supermodel

As captioned on the cover, when it comes to modelling, Nigerian supermodel Oluchi is truly the face of Africa. She shows that and more on the cover of ELLE South Africa’s August 2013 issue.
Oluchi is set to be a household name in Africa as the maiden edition of Africa’s Next Top Model has kicked off its audition phase.

BBA TRENDS

Big Brother Africa: The Beverly Saga

By nemesis john | on July 16, 2013 | 70 Comments

EditorialsIt is sad to note that people watch BBA with biased minds and not objectively. The issue to address is the trending ‘make out’ session between Beverly and Angelo. Beverly yes is a 21 years old damsel and Angelo a 37 years old Dude but then 16 years age gap is no big deal in Africa after all most families can boast of a wider age gap between their parents. As a single young lady cooked up in a place for 3 months attractions are bound to flare for the male counterparts but please I advise viewers to respect her choice of partner as what I have deduced from your    tweets are that the choice of partner is “ewww”..lol.
Natasha said to Pokello,”this is not right its like watching a young girl and her sugar daddy” mind you Pokello is a 28 years old lady frolicking with a 24 years old male tailor from Ghana Elikem. Feza is 26 and O’Neal is 32 years old so please why all the crap.
If viewers have been following BBA8 judiciously from the start, they will recall in the first few weeks Beverly made known her preference for older guys as can be seen in her attraction to LK4 and Bimp. She is young fresh and carefree and as such older guys (LK4, Bolt, Bimp and Angelo) are attracted to her while the younger ones see her as a sister (Nando and Bassey). In my opinion, Beverly is better off with Angelo who reciprocates her feelings than her stuck in a rut with Bimp who though attracted to her cannot act upon his attraction. It will also be wise for some viewrs to invest in a proper tv set which shows clear pictures because Angelo did not have SEX with Beverly lastnight just Kisses and smooches!!! Its so funny that the people calling Melvin a fool for not succumbing to the flirtations of Annabel, Maria, Dillish and Selly are the same ones cursing Beverly out for acting on her attractions towards Angelo.
In conclusion, live your life as you see fit and leave others to do the same. Good day.
From,
Self proclaimed BBA 8 Analyst!

Victoria Kimani

Chocolate City’s Victoria Kimani Talks about her Music and Personality on BORDERLINE.

paris jackson's suicide attempt

Paris Jackson Suicide Attempt Update: Michael Jackson's Daughter Transferred Out of UCLA... michael's daughter http://lowridersfeast.blogspot.com

  jackson

pure silver with diamondz.

• 

• for lovers of silver

Impala escapes cheetah

Impala Dives Into Tourist's Car While Running From Cheetah by NEMESIS JOHN: 5:45pm On Jul 13

The video is viral on YouTube with over 1.67 million views with 1 day of being posted.

It is about an Impala that ran into a Tourist's car while being chased by a Cheetah. This happened at the Kruger National park in South Africa.

The video is brought to you by Barcroft TV


impala escapes

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underated naija dj'z

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10 Most Underrated Music Producers In Nigeria

By nemesis john | on July 13, 2013 | 24 Comments

Editorials Featured

When it comes to music production in Nigeria, there are tons of producers. Some well known, and some not as much, some getting all the hype, and some others really flying under the radar or just not getting the love they deserve, and that’s what we’re here to discuss today.
10 of Nigeria’s most underrated producers. Now does this list mean that the other producers out there are not good or underrated? Not exactly. But this just means that these are the 10 that we feel are the most underrated for the work they’ve put in and some of the hits they’ve had under their belt that they, more times than not, don’t make noise about.
So in NO particular order, here goes:

DJ Klem

DJ Klem

If you ask me, DJ Klem is the most underrated producer in Nigeria. Now it’s not like no one knows who he is or anything like that, but really he should be known as one of the hottest producers right now along with Don Jazzy & Cobhams. Yes I said it. With hits, See Me – Mo Cheddah, Holla At Your Boy – WizKid under his belt, along with a grossly underrated AfroFunkyDiscoSoul album, DJ Klem has been a serious pillar of consistency since he got in the game. You know it’s about to be a good 4 mins when you hear “DJ Kleeeemmm”
Add his body of work with DJ Klem presents… and you almost feel like slapping someone that says DJ Klem is not top 5 in Nigeria. Period!
Notable work: No Be Money – Mo Cheddah, Shuku Shuku Bam – Phenom, Holla At Your Boy – Wizkid, See Me – Mo Cheddah, Hello – Iye, Farabale – DJ Klem ft. Yemi Alade & Efa, AfroFunkyDiscoSoul album.

ChopStix

ChopStix

ChopStix is a pretty quite and simple dude. Barely makes a lot of noise and hardly even jumps on records to say anything, but what this guy does on the beat is straight bananas. At first he was primarily doing mostly for his team GRIP, but now he’s expanded further dropping beats for some of the biggest hits in Nigeria right now. Ice Princ will definitely be thank ful he’s got ChopStix on deck, Aboki, VIP and the likes might not be the same songs.
Notable Work: Ice Prince – Aboki, Endia – 48, Ice Prince – Thank You (co-produced by MI), Kahli Abdu – Fear Fear Factor, Victoria Kimani – Oya, Reminisce – Government, Dee Money, Endia & Yung L – Dash Me Da Ting.

Sossick

Sossick

Sossick is another producer  in my book that rivals, DJ Klem for that most underrated producer spot. The hits he’s been responsible for compared to the love he gets is a total mismatch. You can argue that Da Grin might not have had his biggest hit were it not for this dude right here. Delving into vocals sometimes, Sossick still stays solid on the beatz and is still a solid hit maker – Just ask May D.
Notable Work: Da Grin – Pon Pon Pon, May D – Use me ,Eva Alordiah – Mercy, Sossick – Kosofo, Eva Alordiah – I Done Did It, Sossick – Jor Oh

Kid Konnect

Kid Konnect

Kid Konnect is as super talented as they come in Nigeria. Sometimes he gets mistaken as a purely hip-hop producer but don’t get it twisted he can still rock beats for different genres (check out his Look At Me Now Fuji Mix or Rack Mix) , however I will say some of his best work has been for the hip-hop cats in Nigeria. MI, SDC, Kahli Abdu, Beazy has all called on Konnect’s Name for some of their masterpieces. Simply put, Kid Konnect is a parallel universe will be one of the best producers in Nigeria. Don’t believe me check out his collection of Fuji mixes.
Notable Work: MI – Four Horsemen, MI – Fuck You, Loose Kaynon – Aka Na Enu, Brymo – Chocolate, SDC – Clone Wars Vol 2 (some tracks),  X.O Senavoe – Say It Again, Bandits EP (with Kahli Abdu)

Password

Password

Before the whole Gobe saga, there was not too much known about this singer/producer/song writer right here even though he had been paying his dues quietly under the radar. He’s responsible for a lot of work on Darey’s Undareyted album, and one of the biggest hits of the past decade, Champion by General Pype. Add to his list work for himself, Davido, HarrySong, Safarie and a host of others.
Password still stays under the radar a bit but now under HKN, one has to expect his time to shine will come soon. Either as a producer or an artists.
Notable Work: General Pype – Born Champion, Darey – Style Na Style Remix, Password – Obiaghelli, Gobe (original & Davido’s version co-produced with Shizzi)

Jay Stuntz

Jay Stunt

One producer that really should be an icon by now is Jay Stunt. Responsible for some of the biggest highlife hits on the past years Jay Stunt is grossly underrated as a hit maker. One reason might be that he stayed under the radar when some of his biggest hits were hitting the airwaves.
You know you’ve jumped up and down to some of his hottest beats without even knowing he was the oga behind the tune. Doubt me? Check out his notable work below.
Notable Work: Flavour – Oyi, Flavour – Baby Oku, Timaya – Another Man Chop, Flavour – Adamma, Jay-Stunt – Body Body, A significant number of Flavour’s Uplifted album.

TinTin

Tin-Tin

To be honest with myself, I didn’t realize how many of some of my favorite tunes were produced by Tin-Tin until I started putting together his list of songs. Dude is pure fire, and it’s not just a matter of whether his songs blew everything out of the water, but the creative sounds he uses. Simply exquisite (if I can use that word to describe a beat).
Tin-Tin is another underrated produced looking at the work he’s done in the industry and considering you get the feeling he’s barely scratched the surface of his talents. Just think what what we’ll be seeing in a few years from him.
Notable Work: Slim T -Lagosians, Dammy Krane – Lobatan, Eva Alordiah – Your Fada, Down Low, Kel – Give It To Me, Pope – Enjoy

Gospel

Gospel

Also known as Gospel On D Beatz, the beats coming from the kid is mad crazy. More especially when you look back at some songs he did that you didn’t know. I was personally a believer after listening to Davido’s All Of You and then Burna Boy’s Celebrate.I was completely sold after that.
Over the past couple of years he’s slowly been building his catalog, and looking back on it, it’s a super impressive body of work. His demand will only get greater at we dive into 2014. Just watch.
Gospel On Da Beatz and we badder than…
Notable work: Tekno – Holiday, Burna Boy – Celebrate, Tiwa Savage – Ileke, Tekno – Onyenekwu, Davido – All Of You

Shizzi

Shizzi

Shizzi is primarily associated with Davido’s hits but not to get it confused he’s much more than his work with Davido (Ask WizKid). However to fully appreciate the package Shizzi is bringing you gotta also look at his work in OBO. Simply great work.
Shizzi is creating a name for himself, and sooner than later a lot of peeps will really appreciate what he’s bringing to the game. Club banging hits with no mercy at all.
Notable work: Davido – Dami Duro (co-produced), Davido – Dollar In The Bank, WizKid – Love My Baby, Davido- Gobe (with password), Shank – BFF, Harrysong – Taiye Kehinde

WizBoyy

WizBoyy

It’s easy to look at WizBoyy as an artist and forget about his production skills, but that’ll be a huge mistake. For any song you hear his voice, you bet you he might have done some production on it. It’s getting to a point now that any new age highlife beat I hear now, I suspect WizBoyy.
For some reason though, I get the feeling WizBoyy doesn’t get the credit he deserves as a producer. He’s marvelous on the beat, and his work is what I can best describe as happy music. You hear the beat and just smile and want to dance and give thanks go God. That is what WizBoyy brings to the plate – Magic to your ears.
Notable work: WizBoyy – Fotojenik, Ice Prince – By This Time, WizBoyy – Infinity, Chidinma – Jollie, Flavour – I Dont Care, Slim Brown – Akara Don Done, Chykay – Ohemaa

Notable mentions: Suspect, Charlie X, Kraftmatics

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Author Description

Software Engineer, Web Developer, Promoter, Blogger, and pretty much a jack of all trades and master of 2. Writes a variety of topics, ranging from Social Issues in Nigeria, to Relationships, and even Random Rantings (both serious and humorous)... follow me on twitter @eyezkusha

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MISS NIGERIA BEAUTY PAGEANT

Best Dressed Lady At Miss Nigeria 2013? by nemesis john: 1:59pm On Jul 11

Who do you think was the best dress?



lowridersfeast@gmail.com

Martins Turns Jerseys From Ex-clubs To Dining Room Furniture by nemesis john(m): 4:06pm On Jul13

People say footballers don’t care about the clubs they play for; that a little stint here and there means nothing to some of these mercenaries.

Well, not for the renowned house-proud player Obafemi Martins. And the former Newcastle striker is someone who should know his way around a fair few training grounds by now.

For the 28-year-old has had eight clubs since leaving his native Nigeria for pastures new: Reggiana, Inter Milan, Newcastle, Wolfsburg, Rubin Kazan, Birmingham, Levante and now American MLS outfit Seattle Sounders.

What has Martins done to commemorate his colourful career? Well, he has chosen to use shirts from his old clubs – and his country – to upholster his golden dining room chairs.

As the picture shows, Martins is proudly showing off his kit to any visitors to his household – what a novel idea.

Port-Harcourt-based Firms Dump Wastes In Aba — Ikpeazu by Nemesis john: 4:00pmUMUAHIA— ABIA State government, yesterday, alleged that some Port-Harcourt-based companies owned by expatriates were dumping industrial wastes in Aba.

Deputy General Manager, Abia State Environmental Protection Agency, ASEPA, Dr. Okezie Ikpeazu, who made the allegation, said the unidentified companies connived with lorry drivers to lift the wastes and dump illegally in Aba. He said one suspect, a truck conductor, has been arrested and his truck impounded.
Ikpeazu said the suspect allegedly dumped 90 tonnes of suspected toxic wastes generated in Port Harcourt in the commercial city, adding that the industrial wastes would be sent to Michael Okpara University of Agriculture, Umudike, for laboratory analysis to determine the toxic level.

Noting that the suspect had been handed over to the police for further interrogation, he said: “We are now sure that there are some fifth columnists that generate wastes in their states and dump them in Abia State. We believe that had been the practice and that is why we have been having problems cleaning up Aba.”

He said two other trucks had earlier discharged 60 tonnes of wastes on Coca-Cola Bus Stop also in Aba and escaped, stressing that ASEPA became worried when it discovered that its daily projection on the number of trucks needed to evacuate wastes on Port Harcourt Road in Aba was no longer enough.

Ikpeazu attributed this to the sudden emergence of what he called alien wastes, stressing: “To our greatest surprise on Monday morning ,we discovered that 37 trucks would be needed to evacuate the wastes on Port Harcourt Road, hence we started thinking that there must be something fishy.”nemesis john

JEWELRIES

Al-Mustapha Visits TB Joshua Immediately After Release by Nemesis John(m): 3:56pm
Al-Mustapha was released yesterday Friday July 12th after many years in prison, and his first port of call after his release was T.B Joshua's place.

T.B Joshua explains why Al-Mustapha visited him first:

I got to know him many years ago when a petition was addressed to General Bamaiyi who was the then Chairman of the NDLEA. As you know, several efforts had been made by my detractors to bring me and my ministry down. One of those efforts was that petition. I was arrested for investigation and it was later discovered that it was a tissue of lies. I spent nine days with them for investigation and they found the whole thing to be a fabrication. From there, I was taken to Aso Rock (City of Power) to see the president. It was there that I met Mustapha.


I was able to reveal to them who I am by telling them what was to come as a prophet. One of those things I mentioned to them and to Mustapha in particular, was what he went through, though he did not believe me then. That was why when it came to pass, I was the first person he remembered. I told him that he would spend several years in prison and would be finally released which no one else had ever told him.

That is why you see him coming here as his first port of call. Where there is no vision, people perish.

I am surprised you are asking me why he is coming here first. When you look into your archives as journalists, you will find many stories in the past about my visit to Aso Rock, (City of Power) while Bamaiyi was Chairman of NDLEA. Many magazines and newspapers published my visions and prophecies on the government and the presidency.

When you know your picture of tomorrow, it will impart a strength to endure your present difficulty. When you know what you are passing through now will not last long, you will endure it. This is vision; this is prophecy. This can only come by revelation. This is what the Bible means by, “Where there is no vision, the people perish” (Proverbs 29:18). I will leave you here.

Amaechi And Jonathan: What Caused The Rift ? by nemesis john(m): 03:15pm On Jul 13

Pls Let stop abusing ourself,and let us reach d truth of d matter,let me add to d truth given b4,which are soku oil well,NGF case of sw fund,excess crude acc,Nyako vs tukur,then finally,d rumour of amaechi as v.p to north.

Re: Amaechi And Jonathan: What Caused The Rift ? by nemesis john (m): 03:15pm On Jul 13

Here are the latest reasons things have gotten worse. After this meeting with Jonathan by Anti-Amaechi politicians, 5 days later - Rivers State is becoming a war zone. All hail the silent Militant. Goodluck with Rivers Law-makers

To build a house, part deaux

To build a house, part deaux

Our exciting (?) story continues.  As you may recall from our previous episode, I talked about the what and the why of building a house using real money.  Now for the how...

The financial how is straight-forward.  I know you think it isn't, but it is.  First off, let me give you the caveat that I am not fresh out of school with a degree and an entry level job.  On the other hand, I am also not a rich banker that has just finagled a billion dollar bailout at your expense.  I'm an average Joe that's been working for 20+ years.  It's not my first house.  It's not a starter home.  I did finance those.  But even with those homes financed, I busted my ass to try to pay them down.  I always had a 15 year (or less) loan and I always targeted to pay it early.

But that's not really the point.  That's merely a disclaimer.  My point is that you don't have to be richer than god to bankroll a house.  Where does the money come from?  I am glad you asked!  It comes from everywhere!  It comes from eating dinner at home.  It comes from drinking a beer at home that costs a dollar a bottle instead of drinking THE EXACT SAME BEER at a bar for $8.  It comes from not having that latte today (and more importantly, not having it twice a day for every day of your life.)  It comes from having a phone and a computer... and not a phone that IS a computer and costs $100 a month to use.  It comes from squirreling away unexpected money.  (Your uncle died and left you a few grand you didn't expect.  You can make a nice down payment on a really nice car or drive the same paid-off car you've been driving for 10 years and put the cash in the bank.)  In short: it's a conscious effort to evaluate the total cost/benefit of things you want and need.  It's an effort to ask "how much does this cost?" instead of "how much does this cost per paycheck?" ... escaping the paycheck-to-paycheck mentality.

And there is more "how" than "how do you get the money?"...   How do you spend it on the house?

Our first idea was "buy the land first."  This is why I've been living in a tool shed for five and a half years.  We bought the land, got it paid off as fast as we could, then kept paying for it -- paying ourselves the house payment.   And since the land had a tool shed on it, we moved into it.  Granted, this is not something you want to do with someone you don't like -- it's close quarters.  I am still amazed at how much crap we managed to shoe-horn into 600 square feet.

My second idea was: don't build it all at once.  This is what we did.  We were looking to build a 3 bedroom home.  But, we built a 1 bedroom home.  However, we built the infrastructure for a 3 bedroom home.  The rest is just unfinished.

This will make your costs look really odd.  Your cost per square foot is going to go through the roof.  (The roof that was, in fact, scaled back from a really nice standing seam metal roof to just plain old composition shingles, by the way.)  But don't worry about it.  You're thinking of the total cost... and the total cost per square foot when you are done will work, okay?

The third grand idea was to be our own subcontractors.  There are lots of things that an average unlicensed guy can do: flooring, paint, finish carpentry, tile, cleanup, final grading, landscaping.  Does it take longer?  OH MY GOD, yes.  If you're not good friends with the wife, I'd breach that gap before I took this path, because you're keeping her out of her new kitchen for potentially months.  But how long does a typical mortgage take?  30 years?  I think adding 3 months to construction isn't such a big deal in comparison.

But I won't lie to you.  The biggest savings in building was painful slash and burn to our original plans.  As you start drawing, the sky is the limit.  Anything is possible.  The more you look at what you can have, the more you want.  It's a vicious cycle.  Keep that draftsman on retainer, because once you have what you want, you're going to have to cut it to what you can build.  And you won't really know how much it will all cost until you bid it out to a few builders.  Granite counters?  How about instead you browse the granite out behind the cutting shed and pick out a few remnants for the powder room?  Your mom had laminate counters and they're still looking about like they did 50 years ago.  It didn't seem to affect her character.  Three car garage?  Chef's kitchen?  Nope.  And nope.  Both of those luxuries hit the cutting room floor in a big pile of crushed dreams that is floating in a pool of tears.  And guess what?  It doesn't really matter in the end.

stay tuned... more to come

the Cathouse

With the building of our new house, I got permission to build a cathouse.  I got all excited... until I realized it was actually a house... for cats.

Oddly enough, it's a problem I've been considering for quite some time.  Consider the following:

A. Cat poo is the stink of death
B. Dogs love cat poo
C. Dogs are affectionate, kissy animals

QED: I'm about to hurl

Which led me to believe it might be possible to make an awesome hideaway for the cats, complete with snacking doggy avoidance features.

Michalangelo had his Sistine Chapel, Van Gogh had his Starry Night, Da Vinci had his Mona Lisa.... and now I present to you, with no further ado: Spork's Cat Closet.

Let me tell you a story.  There isn't a snarky punchline.  There isn't a lesson to be learned.  It's just a story.

There was once a computer geek that worked in a big city.  His office had a huge plate glass window in it... probably 60 feet long from floor to ceiling.  One day while working he noticed a momma cat outside, nursing a tiny kitten.  This was not in a residential area and she was struggling to catch enough food to produce the milk for the kitten.  So the geek put out cat food for her.

Momma was wild.  Very wild.  And the kitten, orange with swirly stripes, became wild too.  No amount of coaxing or talking would draw her out.  Time went by... the only way the kitten would allow the geek to approach was through the plate glass window -- where if he dangled a string (or a frayed bit of CAT5 cable) she would play with it through the window.

As momma cats do...  Momma got pregnant again... and had another litter of kittens, leaving the kitten alone.  She did not know how to hunt.  She was helpless.  And Momma had to send her away to raise the next batch.

So the geek trapped her.  She was probably about 9 months old by now and extremely wild.  And every said you just can't tame a feral cat.  Once they are wild... it's over.

Like I said, there is no moral here... no punchline... no snark.  That scrawny scared feral kitten passed away today at the too-young age of almost 12.  She spent 9 months living on the hard streets, became an indoor cat and never looked back.  Bye ME#

Dad Begs For Forgiveness For Defiling His Daughters. LAGOS - Policemen attached to Ikotun division in Lagos have arrested a man alleged to have been having carnal knowledge of his two daughters between the ages of 10 and 13, in the past two years.

His daughters reportedly claimed to have been going through what they described as horrible experience since their mother left them for another man.

Unable to resist their father, they endured until the elder girl confided in her friend's mother, who then contacted some child rights groups.

The organisations were said to have effected the man's arrest at his 29, Omooye Street, Abaranje, last Saturday and handed him over to policemen at Ikotun division.

Explaining, the elder child (names withheld) said: "Our father started it when I was 11 years old. I did not know he was doing same to my sister who was then eight years.

I only got to know when I saw her blood stained undies and when I demanded to know whether she had started seeing her monthly flow, she revealed that our father slept with her the previous night. He usually crept to either of us at night whenever he wanted to satisfy his urge. He was the one who dis-virgined us."

I beg to be forgiven -Suspect

On his part, the 35-year-old suspect , a commercial bus driver identified as Adewale Adeleke, admitted to the police that he committed the sacrilegious act. He claimed, however, that he did not know what usually comes over him at that point.

Hear him: "I beg to be forgiven. This is the handiwork of the devil because I do not know what usually comes over me. What usually happened was that the urge would just come and before I know it, I would be with either of them."

When news of the act reached the mother of the children who resides in Ibadan, the Oyo State capital, she reportedly rushed to Lagos, where she was quoted as saying that she was shocked beyond words.

She reportedly said she was forced to leave her husband because of alleged battering, in spite of the fact that she was the one responsible for the upkeep of the home. She said while leaving, she handed her two children to her mother with the intention of sending them monthly allowance, only for their father to go and take them.

Executive Director of Esther Child Rights Foundation, Mrs. Esther Ogwu, said her foundation was making effort to ensure that the woman would take custody of her children, adding also that the arrest of the suspect was a first step to ensure that justice was done.

The two girls are now under police protection while their father will be arraigned at the Ejigbo Magistrate's Court by the police.

When contacted, Lagos State Police Command, Public Relations Officer, PPRO, Ngozi Braide confirmed the arrest of the suspect, saying that he would be arraigned in court soon.

When going about your job, the last thing you’d expect is for a giant python to drop on your head. Yet it did happen to Kelvin Katoka from Zambia, who was driving an excavator near a copper mine in the North Western part of the country.

A rock python, Africa’s largest snake, dropped onto him and started to strangle the 25-year old. Katoka fought back, biting and kicking at the reptile.

He then pulled out a small knife and stabbed the snake several times, all while realising he was losing consciousness, writes The Telegraph (UK).

The snake kept at it and Katoka said he could feel the saliva on his head as the python started to swallow him. Rock pythons are known to eat prey as large as wildebeest and crocodiles. Fortunately the fighting bought Katoka valuable time - two co-workers found him and killed the snake.

Katoka was rushed to hospital, where he is still recovering.

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